Kick ass. Please.

Not that I aspire to become a self-centered ass, but I am going to direct my energies more towards things I can change, like myself, rather than focusing SO MUCH energy on the regretful past or the imagined future.  Living in the past/future leaves a virtually meaningless present.  That being said, my list, not of things to necessarily be done this year, per say, but to work towards in general.  In no particular order…

  • Sign up for kickboxing
  • Become kinder
  • Become kick-ass
  • Take singing lessons
  • Improve my painting skills
  • Audition for something
  • Become less cynical
  • Stop getting rabid over little things, like a printer not working or some yahoo cutting me off in traffic.  In other words, let go of the little things
  • Take dancing lessons with my husband
  • See more plays
  • Stay sober
  • Write more
  • Photograph more
  • Play with my kid more
  • Live in the moment

On the subject of acting/auditioning; Something possessed me to google “late bloomers” in terms of acting.  Even though the majority of the actors referenced in the article I found were people who had been working in the movies/theater for decades, the article focused more on when they actually “hit it big”, which was later in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s.  The article actually referenced 32 as being past your prime.  Kinda like basketball players, right?  So here I am, reading how rare it is to succeed the older you are and blah, blah, blah, when this little voice inside me asks, “why the hell are you reading this crap? what does this have to do with you?”  I then realized I was setting myself up for failure.  Without even realizing it, I had approached the idea of taking a creative leap as an impossible feat.  Like the nasty voice inside me (I call her Agnes….not a literal voice I hear, mind you, just a name I’ve given my negativity) was saying, “you want to do what?  well, let me show you how impossible that will be.  suck on that!”

I had to pull back, and remind myself that my focus should be on taking little steps.  Go on an audition. See what happens.  Don’t worry about the result, just take that leap.  If it works, great, if it doesn’t, try again.  So, to add to the list…

  • Replace negative thoughts with positive ones; aka, kick Agnes’ ass.  Tell the b*tch to pound sand.

2 thoughts on “Kick ass. Please.

  1. […] Agnes is in high voice tonight.  The negative little voice in my head just won’t shut up.  Surely if she had a throat, it’d be hoarse by now. […]

  2. […] what to do?  I’ve written before about all the things I’m going to do that will radically change my life and kick ass and fuck […]

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