Potpourri, aka, rambling

My mood has been vacillating between blue and….not blue?  It’s like, my mind is in this muddy state, but every once in a while my brain gets a rinse and I feel, for a fleeting moment, like I could do something great.

I keep joking at work that I’m gonna move to Texas and sell pecans by the roadside.  I used to say oranges, but pecans work better.  My job as an insurance broker, as fascinating as it is <eyeroll>, seems to be winding down.  Not from anything I’ve done, I just see the industry taking this turn that leads to oblivion.

I started to write a lengthy diatribe about the things that piss me off about insurance…namely, the employees/individuals sense of entitlement and the insurance carrier’s greed.  But, honestly, I could go on about that for a week.  Bottom line, this mess is everyone’s fault, consumers, insurance companies, and doctors.

Charlie Sheen is in a stupid Fiat commercial, making a joke about his bad boy image.  Gag.

The zillow “zestimate” on my house is going down and down and down.  Hubs and I like to think we’ll be able to sell the house and move to Texas, but there’s a real chance it won’t sell for years.

I told my mom I was thinking of asking her to come out for a few days.  I find it overwhelming to take care of my daughter at times.  She can’t come any sooner than her planned visit in June/July.  She offered to fly my daughter and I out to Texas for a long weekend.  Yeah, because LAX and all the driving between SA and Kerrville are VERY relaxing.

I make jokes about “loving” my job, but I have noticed I’ve enjoyed it more lately, simple because it’s giving me a distraction.  My concentration is for crap, but, provided I’m not conducting a meeting with a client (like last week), my spacing out (like I did last week) is manageable.

My friend from junior high isn’t going to be able to come for a visit after all.  But she sends me really nice emails and wants to (gasp) talk.

I’m in the process of trying to see a psychiatrist.  I think I found a good one.  We’ll see.

My 8 year wedding anniversary is next week.  We’re gonna ask my MIL to watch the kidlet and go out for dinner.  Guess I should get hubs a gift, huh?

I’m really tired and think maybe it’s time to try and shut my brain down for the night.  Well, not all of it.  I should probably not turn off the auto-pilot.  Still need to breath and stuff.

Stupid jokes = end of writing for evening.  Need Frasier therapy.

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One thought on “Potpourri, aka, rambling

  1. truefinds says:

    Hang in there. I know that sounds glib, but just remember that the depression will pass eventually. As both a mental health worker and a woman who had been married to a deeply depressed (at times) man, I know that the depression will lift. Meds can help. Time can help, too.

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