The Exemption List

Anyone married or in a serious relationship knows what The Exemption List is.  It’s the list of people that your spouse/partner would allow you to sleep with without consequences.  My husband used to tease me that Christian Kane was on my list, but, honestly, I was more drawn to the character he played on Leverage than I was to the actor himself.

But Tom Hiddleston is SOOOOO on my list. What is strange is that my husband actually wanted to add to the list.

Husband: You’ve got my heart, always.

Me: Even if I sleep with Tom Hiddleston?

Husband:  Yes.  But ONLY him.

Me: You mean, he’s on my Exemption List?!

Husband: Yes. <pause> And Patrick Stewart.

Me: Yea…wait, what?

Husband:  You can sleep with Patrick Stewart, too.

Me:  But, I don’t WANT to sleep with Patrick Stewart.

Husband:  What?!  But he’s so cool!

Me: Well, yes, I agree, but I’m not attracted to him.  Tom Hiddleston I’d mount like a deer head to my wall, but not Patrick Stewart.

Husband:  But, but, he’s CAPTAIN PICARD!

Me:  Yeah, well, Captain Picard was hot, but, he’s a character that he played 20 years ago.

Husband: How can you not want Patrick Stewart?!

Me:  Look, quit trying to make me sleep with Patrick Stewart.

And then we found this in an antique shop and my twisted brain kicked in. It’s fate.

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