Anyone married or in a serious relationship knows what The Exemption List is. It’s the list of people that your spouse/partner would allow you to sleep with without consequences. My husband used to tease me that Christian Kane was on my list, but, honestly, I was more drawn to the character he played on Leverage than I was to the actor himself.
But Tom Hiddleston is SOOOOO on my list. What is strange is that my husband actually wanted to add to the list.
Husband: You’ve got my heart, always.
Me: Even if I sleep with Tom Hiddleston?
Husband: Yes. But ONLY him.
Me: You mean, he’s on my Exemption List?!
Husband: Yes. <pause> And Patrick Stewart.
Me: Yea…wait, what?
Husband: You can sleep with Patrick Stewart, too.
Me: But, I don’t WANT to sleep with Patrick Stewart.
Husband: What?! But he’s so cool!
Me: Well, yes, I agree, but I’m not attracted to him. Tom Hiddleston I’d mount like a deer head to my wall, but not Patrick Stewart.
Husband: But, but, he’s CAPTAIN PICARD!
Me: Yeah, well, Captain Picard was hot, but, he’s a character that he played 20 years ago.
Husband: How can you not want Patrick Stewart?!
Me: Look, quit trying to make me sleep with Patrick Stewart.
And then we found this in an antique shop and my twisted brain kicked in. It’s fate.